I could see the smoke as soon as my plane took off the runway — It wasn't a great time to go to Montana — like walking into the world's largest cookout — you're still hacking it up five days after leaving — the liquid stuff is amazing, but the solids, well, not so much — Free pretzels helped to mitigate my quickly decreasing sobriety — "Don't go alone or stare at the locals" — "BEWARE BEWARE BEWARE" — far too many pitchers of Kokanee — any of the 51 local residents can pop in, walk behind the bar, grab their personal coffee mug, and help themselves to the carafe of coffee sitting next to the cash register — they were mostly rice-free (!) and extra greasy — kinda like my weekends at home, but with way better views and more altitude exhaustion — because I am a half person who could die from eating peanuts — But, like, they also have papazules on the menu — it is very easy to get drunk in Montana.
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