Call me distracted — crazy delicious wild boar albondigas in a creamy-cheesy tomato sauce and frizzle-fried Brussels sprouts with grapes — the soba was pretty fucking boring — live and learn to better embrace tonkotsu broth — I KNOW it is not technically called BAR bar — Wine, broth, tomatoes, milk, cream, burble burble — Trout cooked in brown butter is also never bad — a turkey sandwich on semi-crappy sliced sourdough — ate this for the next three meals in a row.
Read MoreI lasted about an hour at the annual Eat Real Festival last weekend — an excuse to day drink and get sunburned — perfect drinking snacks, hot, creamy, and funky — fucking delicious Golden Gate Gose from Almanac — let's just say a little thank you to the taco gods for giving those of us who work in downtown Berkeley a new place to go that doesn't suck — trying all of the offal tacos — Here's what happens when I come home late from the yoga studio and haven't eaten since like 11:30 — back the fuck off Asian food police — I'm at Woods now almost as much as Missouri Lounge. Not sure what that says about my priorities — I watched a group of food justice activists basically tell white people like Dan Barber to fuck off — I love Iyasare, btw.
Read MoreI could see the smoke as soon as my plane took off the runway — It wasn't a great time to go to Montana — like walking into the world's largest cookout — you're still hacking it up five days after leaving — the liquid stuff is amazing, but the solids, well, not so much — Free pretzels helped to mitigate my quickly decreasing sobriety — "Don't go alone or stare at the locals" — "BEWARE BEWARE BEWARE" — far too many pitchers of Kokanee — any of the 51 local residents can pop in, walk behind the bar, grab their personal coffee mug, and help themselves to the carafe of coffee sitting next to the cash register — they were mostly rice-free (!) and extra greasy — kinda like my weekends at home, but with way better views and more altitude exhaustion — because I am a half person who could die from eating peanuts — But, like, they also have papazules on the menu — it is very easy to get drunk in Montana.
Read Moretwo kinds of salt because I'm an asshole — less than $20 at Trader Joe's — IMM Thai, however, is totally not bad — the beer looked like beer — my new friend "Grandpa Tupac" — racing back to the bar at 6:59 to get another cheap pour — certainly not worth the fat stack — I rescued out from under several bags of frozen chicken bones — Is "Lower Pac Heights" really a neighborhood? — a legit Disney princess — just drink La Croix.
Read Moreone cannot live on high end manhattans made with smoked vermouth alone — a huge fucking frozen margarita machine and free line dancing lessons — beer bellies, cowboy hats, and lots of bottle blondes — I want to drink tall boys of Hamm's or whatever — mysterious dude at the Chron — needed to do something ridiculous while wearing cowboy boots — five different varieties of Red Bull — potent and syrupy sweet potion that will simultaneously invoke mishap-filled high school spring breaks and also that stomach ache you got from housing too many Skittles — crazy-hot ghost pepper jack cheese — for extra gluttony — if you don't already know what you're doing, you'll still feel silly and fuck up a lot — We looked like idiots but laughed for 2 hours.
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